| Technology presents an alluring, yet unfavorable trend | | | | instead of laughing out loud as we do in a telephone |
| toward one-way communication. Voice mail, invented | | | | call or a conversation, we might type "LOL," which |
| by the late Gordon Matthews, significantly reduces the | | | | means that we would be laughing out loud if we were |
| time it takes to communicate by eliminating half of the | | | | actually taking the time to talk to each other. |
| dialogue. Faxes, electronic mail, and pagers offer a | | | | Pagers that transmit alphanumeric codes, such as |
| similar escape from human interaction. Simply tell the | | | | phone numbers, are probably the simplest and most |
| other person what you want and be done with them | | | | efficient one-way message devices. The message is |
| until next time. No questions, no discussion, no problem. | | | | clear: "Call 555-5555." But in many cases the sender |
| Telephone answering machines began helping us do | | | | does not receive a response. Has the original page |
| this over 20 years ago. Answering machines spawned | | | | message been received? What if the targeted |
| voice mail, which has virtually eliminated the need to | | | | recipient has left his pager home that day? What if he |
| answer the telephone. AT&T reports that Caller | | | | left the pager in Lake Winochobee last weekend? |
| Identification (ID) remains a very popular service. Caller | | | | Without a confirmation reply, the sender goes on with |
| ID, which debuted in America almost 10 years ago, | | | | his day, blissfully believing that communication has |
| allows subscribers to avoid a phone conversation | | | | taken place. |
| based on the identity of the caller. The decision to not | | | | A timely and efficient acknowledgment--"yes, I |
| interact is made before the subscriber even picks up | | | | understand you"-- is the most important part of any |
| the handset. Alexander Graham Bell would have never | | | | exchange. Truly "care-full" communication is two-way |
| guessed that we would willingly trade the privilege of | | | | messaging that allows the receiver instant and |
| two-way communication in favor of an unanswered | | | | unrestricted dialogue with the sender. We must learn |
| phone call. | | | | to balance the use of technology and real-life |
| Most of us have embraced this new technology | | | | conversation. Making time for discussion can reduce |
| because it saves time, but there is a downside to all of | | | | the number of assumptions and misunderstandings |
| this time efficiency. We know that people don't like to | | | | originating from one-way communication and help us |
| take orders; they like to take part. One-way | | | | reap the full benefits of our most important dialogue. |
| communication delays or eliminates the benefit of | | | | Balance can be achieved by incorporating all forms of |
| clarifying questions. Unanswered or in some cases | | | | communication into our daily routines. We need to |
| unasked questions can lead to assumptions, which are | | | | make time to have more interactive conversations per |
| often a symptom of poor communication. | | | | day, especially with people that we would prefer to |
| Technology, for all of its practicality, is turning us into | | | | e-mail. It is no coincidence that "difficult" people are |
| machines. Facsimile transmission, for example, is a | | | | likely to be recipients of our one-way messages and |
| great way to send printed materials over the | | | | that relationship problems are often due to a lack of |
| telephone line, but it does not allow for spontaneous | | | | personal interaction. Conversation is often the best |
| give-and-take between the sender and receiver. | | | | form of two-way communication. After all, there are |
| We try to use electronic mail, an improved version of | | | | some things that need to be said in person. |
| faxing, as a substitute for two-way communication by | | | | My friend Paul and his wife have set up a |
| employing symbols and acronyms. "E-smiles," lifeless | | | | sophisticated code in a noble attempt to enrich |
| typographical faces that have been turned on their | | | | one-way paging. Paul proudly explained to me that a |
| sides, are often used to show that the sender is | | | | "911" page means there is an emergency and that |
| pleased about something. E-mail users also employ a | | | | "914" means that his wife loves him. And that's what it |
| series of acronyms designed to supplant the more | | | | has come to; we now tell people that we love them |
| emotive ingredients of two-way communication. So | | | | via pager. |